Complete and Utter Weirdness

Its just one of those days that starts off like any other day. It was quite a normal day with nothing too exciting happening, until I came home. I was laying on my bed and I happened to have fallen asleep, and there I had a very weird dream. A man was bothering me and so I had to fight him off. I somehow grabbed a broom and used it as a sword, since I got into my fencer stance. It really wasn't much of a fight, but I did drive him away, through at the end I found it hard to keep my eyes open.

I was on the floor and I couldn't move, but I said to myself that I'm going to do it. I seem to have had some anxiety about something, but now I made up my mind. I was leaving my body. I started by pushing myself up, but my body wasn't moving, only my residual self image was. It got freaky when what I identified as my head left my physical head behind. My vision changed and all I could see is what I can only describe as tv static. But it had depth to it, it wasn't some flat image. Also I seemed to be in some other space because whatever I was moving through was very thick. It was like trying to move inside thick syrup and it also had pressure.

By this time I'm about half way out, with only my legs still stuck, but I just can't take it. I'm starting to freak out and I try to cover my eyes, but since I don't have eyes or hands, I can't do anything. So somehow I struggle against the pressure holding me and I wake up. I was in a deep sleep, since when I woke up I was breathing very deeply, or thats how I can explain it. I was breathing heavily and very groggy.

Weird huh?

Also what else it weird is when the horoscope hits it on the mark. I load up Flock and my homepage has my horoscope which says:

"Perhaps it starts as a flash in a dream or even as a daydream. Maybe something catches in the web of your imagination, which is like a net that has just recovered lost treasure from the deep unknown. Normally you are so logical, but now it's time to set aside your need to be rational. Stay open to messages from your subconscious mind, even if they don't immediately make sense."

Its just very funny when it makes sense only on somedays.

technorati tags: Personal, Dream

Explorations

I spent some time today doing something that I haven't done in a while, really exploring the internet. I start at some known point and begin from there. Sometimes randomly following links until I find something worth while or a good directed search can help, though its the joy of finding a new jewel among the sand that I enjoy.

I started messing around with Google's new service, Pages, by making my own. You can check it out here. While I was creating the page, I hopped over to Creative Commons to grab me a license for my page, which I've become accustomed to doing. Once there I found out about this wonderful little place called Lulu. It allows people to publish and sell their own media. From books to music. I'll have to try it out one of these days.

Then going back to CC, I stumbled upon this little wonder, OpenDemocracy. Its a site that has many interesting articles about current affairs in the world and such. Its good for those who like to not only know whats going on, but to hear other individual's analysis of the situation. So go check them out.

technorati tags: Personal, Internet

Live Music

I'm current listening to Kouosh [Eusebio] Dini live in SL and his music is just wonderful. Taken from the event posting:

"Kouosh [Eusebio] Dini is a classically trained musician and a psychiatrist focusing on the development of life such as that of a person's. His cycling flow of dark and light offers a soundtrack for philosophical contemplation, a great backdrop for generating conversation and a must listen for those who wish to dig a little deeper to appreciate the beauty contained within."

Just the classically trained part was enough to get me interested, and it is well worth it. Its a great mix of classical and electronic music thats just great to sit back and relax with. So go check him out at kouroshdini.com

PS: Go Spurs Go!! I could be watching them, but with it being game seven, I just cant stand to watch, so I'm in SL instead.

technorati tags: Personal, SecondLife, Music

I've Made It

"You're gonna make it after all!"

hehe if you know the song, all I remember is that part which just came to mind when I sat down. Finals are done and over with and now my summer is starting. Its not all fun and relaxation now, I've got work and will have to do some looking over of the new material I'm going to have to deal within the fall. But back to my happiness. While my grades have not been posted in the official location online, if they are in the system, I can find them. I've gotten all B's! If I calculated this correctly, my GPA will rise from a 2.6 to a 2.84.

"I've still got it, baby!" ~ Master Roshi

Yea, from DBZ, but I just loved that part.

technorati tags: Personal, College+Life

My Black Wings

So now that classes are done and over with, for the time being, I've started to dive into SL more. The music scene there is very interesting. The big places are all geared for you to spend money on them, but its the smaller, more intimate settings that really make for a good time.

For me SL is like a much more advanced chat room, and as such I still find myself wandering the space on my own. Though it has allowed me to find some very interesting places like this Japanese village or very elegant houses. People even own their own islands! This time has also let me develop my avatar. While I still keep the same body, there are those who change gender and even species, I've got a few sets of clothing. There are my general everyday stuff, pants and a nice button down shirt. I've got two suits for upclass gatherings, a white and a black tux. Then there are my stylish casual clothes and a white and blue kimono. Most of the time I'm either in my everyday or casual along with my large black wings, I just love them.

My wings took some time to get used to, since they were so big I felt embarrassed by them. haha So strange for me to feel embarrassed by my avatar. Anyways to go with my kimono, I've got a katana that I can pull out, though its not scriptable where I can attack. Though there is no need for that.

Besides that I've just been going from one scene to the next trying to find places with good music and maybe find some good people to just hang with. Its funny to see how much people bring in from their RL into SL. Sex is a big thing in SL. I found a store that sells penis' ! haha though they looked very weird, but it was just so funny. I remember when I walked into a sex club without knowing it. It was just a plain black building, but inside was wall to wall porn and sex toys and positions. haha I was just so suprised that I ran for it.

I knew it was out there, but just seeing it is a different thing.

technorati tags: Personal, SecondLife

Pain

What is it about certain things that can do so much damage. Why is it that a few words, completely harmless on paper, but spoken and given tone can dig and rip at my flesh? And why is it that I can feel these things so deeply? Why is pain my faithful but unwanted companion?

These are the questions I ask when I get hurt. Even just now, after years of getting used to feeling pain, it feels like a fresh scrape as a child. I cling to my heart in pain at the inability for my words to be heard. I want to tell them, "Hey, stop. Understand me!" But they taunt me and laugh when I get angry. So I'm left to contain them. To hold back the fire and let it fall as warm tears from my eyes. I long to tell them, but in such a state, all I would get is pity.

I despise pity. From a lack of understanding comes pity. The sorrow one feels when they have been shown the pain caused and yet its as shallow as the pool of my tears. They do not understand and so dismiss me as eccentric. I'm an oddity, a stranger here. This is my home, and yet when I reach down I feel a connection that is no longer there. I am lost in this cell. Trapped by powers far beyond any imagination. So here I sit, drunk with lonesome pain.

Read this here.

technorati tags: Personal, Pain

Finals

I'm not exactly worried, but the pressure of just having to study is working its toll on me. I'm more worried about having enought time to write up my cheat sheets then anything else. I don't want to be rushing and most importantly I don't want to make any stupid mistakes on my tests. They always get me. Thats why my gpa isn't 3.0 as it should be, hehe oh well. I'm not one to worry too much.

I know when I need a break and thats what I'm going to do. Going to drink some water(H20 is very important for everything. From lubricating the joints to supporting biological functions) and watch more episodes of Outlaw Star. Its an anime I just finished downloading I saw a while back, but never did get to see it from start to finish. Its a really good anime, though I'm watching it in english since I don't feel up to reading subtitles.

So to those who may happen upon this posting, please send me anything you've got. Again, while I'm not woried, its nice to know someone has my back.

technorati tags: Personal, Finals

Opps

Opps, seems the image I posted was too big, well here is the new smaller one.

A Better Late Night

So it seems I'm here again late at night, but its not as bad as it could be. I'm feeling good. Just wrote something to post on deviantart, so go check it out. I'm mindbender there. Please, its too much to post it there and then here, I know. I've tried it before and that didn't work.

technorati tags: Personal, Life

Finally A Face

I have finally gotten a face. My avatar is now here. Now if you have seen it before, its ok. I did not steal it, I have gone about my way on the web under many names, ok.