Self Destructive Forces

I've always have been a bit of a drama queen, though it was only a way to make my life a bit more exciting, to squeeze just a bit more juice out of each event.  So this can lead to me exaggerating a bit at times, but that is different from being completely self destructive.  Different from saying and doing things that only lead down a dark road.

Seems I've been on this path for sometime, and just didn't know it.  As it goes for most.  This then culminated in an event that left me feeling degraded, fifthly, and low.  Talk about walking in the darker side of life, for it truly was.  The stench that followed me made me stick, I couldn't believe what I just did.

As to what happened, well I'm not sure I'd ever be ready to tell anyone.  Though I've made the choice to wage war with that part of myself, well no longer part of myself, that pushed me this way.  I've talked of him before, the dark self, in only that he contains undesired traits.  I'm not one to but my faith in the absolute of good and evil, but its an easy to understand, but just as easily abused analogy.

He shall be purged, though I know he will never be gone.  Primal emotions are always a base components of our complex behavior, so they will never be truly gone.  That is his origin, the source of his power over me.  But I do have faith in the human mind(spirit/soul) to stand above its own physical limitations.

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